ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize