just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
