He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Couch. On fire.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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