your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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