his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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