And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he fucked my hip out of place.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We had sex on a dog bed..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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