I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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