Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
