Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
