The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
