Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
