how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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