Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
