No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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