somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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