why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
