It's like God shit irony all over that family
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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