So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
