i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
