you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
