why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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