Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize