so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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