Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
