The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
