i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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