His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
