you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize