why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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