Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
