Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
