Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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