Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
