I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
