Ambien. No doubt about it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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