Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
