it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize