On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
