We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize