Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
