oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
