Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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