lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
