Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
