I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She needs sedatives and a leash
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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