Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
