we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
