i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
