pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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