I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
