the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
