I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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