This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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