she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
