after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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