I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this will be a night to untag.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
