Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
