butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
