I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
