Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
