thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
