I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
two words: eviction party
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
