If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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