I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
