So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize