now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
